Flashback to 1975.

I was 3. Queen’s “A Night at the Opera” came out. I would choose this tour as my “If I could go back in time, I’d attend ____ concert.”

Flash-forward to Queen’s show in Seattle on April 10th: I don’t know what I expected. A fun sing-along? A super sexy mullet parade and countdown? (Last count was 17 and only 2 women).

The music and performances were cheesier than the “$50 Queen t-shirt and black leather pants wearing, I saw Journey recently at the casino and bought these snakeskin boots just for the show” Tacoma resident in attendance. I donned my classic Target velvet dress (didn’t dress down after work, sounds fancier than it was) and sometimes wore sunglasses to shield myself from the UV lights. I think Paul Rodgers (of Bad Company fame) got under the lights too much. He was ablazin’ like Hulk Hogan. Why is it considered attractive for a singer to get hard-pressed into some gross glittery pants and strut across stage, pumping his arm down like he’s messaging a truck driver to honk? Freddie could get away with anything onstage.

I heard my 2 favorite songs and that made me happy for approximately 12 1/2 minutes. “Love of my Life” — acoustic set by Brian May and “Bohemian Rhapsody” (not a favorite because of Wayne’s world fame) — a visual 3-screen tribute to Freddie complete with his vocals since no one should be allowed to sing this song otherwise.

I lost over 2 hours of my life. Glad it’s over so that I can get back to wasting more of my precious life trying to find the next “Queen.”