Garfunkel, Art
Two things, Artie, if you’re reading this.
1) Find a good barber.

2) Lay off the weed.

Gender
From Chico Instrument Encyclopedia:

An important part of the Indonesian gamelan ensemble, the gender looks something like a xylophone. It usually has twelve or fourteen thin brass “keys” suspended over tube shaped resonators. Because these resonators have different lengths and therefore tunings, you hear different pitches sounding when the keys are stuck with padded mallets. These resonators used to be made from bamboo, which did not prove to be very long-lasting. Now they are exclusively made out of zinc which may be painted a bamboo color.

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FLEETWOOD MAC
There have been many changes to the Fleetwood Mac lineup. The drummer Mick Fleetwood (he’s the Fleetwood in Fleetwood Mac) and the bassist John McVie (he’s the Mac in Fleetwood Mac) have been the constants, which, of course, is quite handy in that the name of the group, as I’ve mentioned, is Fleetwood Mac. Other names the band could have chosen during its various personnel changes – Spencer Brunning, Fleetwood Green, Kirwan Spencer, McVie McVie, Welsh Fleetwood, Walker Weston Welsh, Buckingham McVie McVie, Vito Nicks, Bramlett Burnett, Fleetwood Nicks. I could go on but I won’t. I will, however, say something about Stevie Nicks. She’s a terrible singer! Come on! It sounds like her voice box was thrown in a wood chipper.

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Rumsfeld and the Kyrgyz leader absolutely adore the letter “E”

”E EATS EVERYTHING,” by THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS
I have a 3-year-old girl. It’s challenging to find music that we can both agree on. She likes Beck, though, so that’s cool. However, it hasn’t taken her too long, upon hearing “Motherfuker” on his Mellow Gold album, to start questioning the lyrics of said song. That’s problematic. That’s why we listen to They Might Be Giants together. They’re creating kids albums these days and even if you don’t have a tot the albums are worth checking out. “E Eats Everything” is on their Here Comes the ABC’s album. No! is an even better album. There’s a song on it about a belligerent broom. And, as a plus, there’s no reference to mother fucking. I’m a good parent.

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Davis, Miles
The best trumpet player, ever. That’s not in question. Kind of Blue? Perfection. Bitches Brew? Astounding. Birth of the Cool, Porgy and Bess, Sketches of Spain? Amazing. He worked with the greats – Charlie Parker, Cannonball Adderly, J.J. Johnson, Dizzie Gillespie, John Coletrane. He’s the greatest, Miles is. I wouldn’t have told him that though. He would have said, “Shut the fuck up, cracker,” and smashed a bottle on my head.

Deadboy and the Elephantmen
Wow, what a weird collection of musicians. For one thing, the leader of the group is dead (Deadboy)! And who knew that people with elephantiasis could carry a tune so well! Listen to their album, We Are the Night Sky, and be mesmerized by the fact that the musicians are either dead or inflicted with a disease that causes a thickening of the skin and underlying tissues, especially in the legs and genitals.

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 “CAN’T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD,” by Kylie Minogue

You’re right, Kylie, I can’t get that horrific song of yours out of my head. “Won’t you stay/Won’t you lay/Stay forever and ever and ever/La la la/La la la la la.” The song is atrocious and I’m at wit’s end. I write this in my car, in the garage, engine running, garage door closed. Farewell, cruel world.

CONCH SHELLS

They sound terrible when played but who cares, you’re playing a conch shell! How often can you play a sea-dwelling mollusk anyway? It’s a crude bugle – it’s a marine gastropod! It’s in the 1939 symphony “La Noche de Los Mayas” – it’s in the sea grass in warm tropical waters!

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Ray LaMontagne – Till the Sun Turns Black
Album Leaf – Into the Blue Again
Regina Spektor – Begin to Hope
Hem – Funnel Cloud
Decemberists – Crane Wife
Angels & Airwaves – We Don’t Need to Whisper
Kaki King – Until We Felt Red
KT Tunstall – Eye to the Telescope
Eels – With Strings: Live at Town Hall
Beck – The Information

USOUNDS is proud to present the second installment of J Ship’s A-Z with Jonathan Shipley.  Miss out on A?  Well, fucking check this out then.

”BANANA AND YAM SKANK” 
No better song title I’ve seen. Thank you, King Tubby, thank you.

BANANA BOAT 
Unquestionably the best Polish quintet singing traditional sea shanties today. There’s no doubt that Maciej Jedrzejko, Pawel Konieczny, Pawel Jedrzejku, Tomasz Czarny, and Michal Maniara can belt out nautical-themed tunes! They’ve toured extensively in Poland and the Czech Republic. Rumors abound that frontman Maciej Jedrzejko will be doing a duet with Masta Killa entitled “Szanty dla Pajacka Ho Money.”

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